Bringing out our dead

The Ninja in his kitty condo - almost as big and expensive as my human condo, but with less hair.

Well, I'm sick. Thanks a fucking lot, immune system. There has been coughing, sneezing, intense head pressure and a whole bunch of being hot. I think my head alone may be melting the polar icecaps. It may feature on the next Al Gore/Leo Di Caprio docudrama re: the causes of global warming. And ki moo ('nose shit' - nose-related mucus) is giving hair a run for its money in the seemingly-endless-supply stakes.

The silver lining to this is that I have probably single-handedly infected half of Asia, since I got sick yesterday in Kuala Lumpur and came into contact with at least a thousand different people in various bus stations and airports on my way back to BKK. Plus, the aircon on SE Asian transport is always up WAY too high, making the job of circulating the germs and keeping them alive in transit even easier.

I've decided that KL is also a shitehole. Not all of it, obviously, just the parts I experienced while on this latest visa trip. The KL Indian male contingent around Chinatown specifically would have to be the most annoying group of people in the world. As a white chick walking alone (white women walking with a guy are exempt, I noted) you can't go within a hundred metre radius of a single man without him yelling 'hello', or 'hey lady' or whistling or making some kind of animal noise, usually while staring at your chest. My chest has never felt so welcome in a country before and it was amply covered by a loose t-shirt. If I ever go to that part of the world again, I'm wearing a tent. An actual tent, with even a fly around the outside.

To put a strike in the Malay column, the Malaysian guy on the bus next to me was deliberately taking up more than his side of seat space, then leaning into me on the turns, as if we were playing corners. Also, asking me where I'm from and where am I going. Like, fuck off. I have my iPod on and am staring out the window with my head at an uncomfortable right angle to my body for a reason. Plus, corners is not a pick-up techninque. Hopefully he was rewarded for his lack of manners with a nice dose of Bubonic plague.

Also, I get that it's a Muslim country and all women are required by religious law to don a loose thing that covers everything from their hair to their ankles. My beef is not with this. My beef is with the fact that KL's version of this loose thing is an ugly pastel chiffon shroud bedazzled with cheap plastic beads and usually paired with tarty 'clacky mules', I guess in a bid to be flirtatious. The all black head-to-toe uniform I can vibe with as at least it's black and black is a classic, but KL has some really offensive floaty, peaked, spackled, domed, unnatural-fibred head-coverings. If the point is to deter anyone from finding them attractive, it's working better than probably intended.

Hm, what else did I hate about my trip? Oh yeah, The Ninja totally dissing me. I went to see his fluffy ass - for the first time in six months - and he went completely mental. He wedged himself between his bed and the wall (a 2cm gap) to try to avoid looking at/acknowledging me, then tried to bury himself in his litter box (I have video proof of this on my phone). He also scaled the wire door of his condo like a lunatic, even breaking off nails in the attempt to escape me. So, not the happy reunion I had envisioned. I know I stuck him in quarantine for six months for no real reason, but jeez, build a bridge and get over it, man. A little cat bridge with fake mice and burlap scratching bits on it - whatever.

It's time to lay me down to die now, more about life when I'm not quite so close to death.