i am looking back to this time

and missing Bek's Life of HellTM circa 2006-2008. way to make the most of my current amazing life, right? i'm free (and easy hehe), go to paradise every second weekend, have a steady job where i'm appreciated (even today i was verbally appreciated by 3 different people in a superior station, hile other people were being decidedly unappreciated). ninja, house, arguments, insults, chaos, pain. PAIN, i miss the pain - classic stockholm syndrome. this confirms that i am 7000 per cent insane. that part of me pines to be as tormented as i was then. what psychological trickery is this? perhaps it's just ninja that weighs heavily upon my psyche. because surely i will miss this - the present moment or at least Bek's Life of Goodness and PlentyTM -- just as much when it is over -- a lesson, non?

i'm like freaken megamind (the animated movie character, not a person mega of mind) -- now that i'm happy i have nothing to fight for. i miss the angst.