Week 10: Year of the Dawg

Hey everyone, Happy Year of the Dog! This new new year begins with a good omen: the local street rag (which obviously has a direct line to the cosmos) told me that the year of the dog would be good for rabbits, and i am a rabbit ("the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.") In real life, dogs like to get rabbits and shake them until bits of their brain come out of their ears, but anyway...

I like Chineeeese. Our video editor, Konman, hates them but he's from Singapore and asians are about fifty thousand times more racist against other asians than anyone not asian. Or Konman is, anyway. I could fill up the internet writing stories about Konman, even though he's hard to explain, like irony. He's this semi-rude, lonely kind of independent film-maker, he used to work in what he calls the 'meat industry' (what the rest of us call 'porno') and sleeps in the office on a bit of foam. He goes to Singapore on visa runs and stays with his friend at the airport - not in an airport hotel or NEAR the airport but in the ACTUAL AIRPORT because he has this friend who's lived there for FOURTEEN YEARS! He asks everyone he meets: "Mickey Mouw - he a cat or dog, cat or dog?" And he buys LEO beer late at night and we drink it out of mugs. He's OK.

Anyway, back to year of the dog. The gang took a field trip out to Chinatown the other night for CNY. In what should come as no surprise to anyone, we went on the wrong night (it's a 3-day thing and we went on the 'praying' night AKA 'religious and boring' night). Chinatown itself was basically one big lantern, which made for good pictures, but apart from lots of fat people wearing red and police blockading off random bits of footpath, nothing was going on. So we went to Kao San Road, which was sucky as well as boring. We did see an oily looking Spanish Peter Andre there, which made the trip worth it in the end. Or would have if we'd beaten him up with his own hands and left him bleeding out of his eyes in the gutter.

Chinese dragon lantern. Burninating with its bad res into the night.

The next night we tried Chinatown again and managed to:

- not see/hear any firecrackers
- not witness any dragon dance
- miss whatever street parade there may have been
- not know where we could get good dumplings

The Dog must have smiled upon us because we eventually found The Best Chinese Food Place Ever and were lucky enough to put another few types of tasty sea creatures on the endagered species list. And we took pictures with fake dogs, which may have been a really offensive thing to do (YES! That dog above ISN'T REAL. You can tell because it's not 90 per cent mange and isn't convulsing on the side of the street.)

Other than that, the only other thing that's really been happening this week is the minstrel thing. For some reason, Rogerfromwork's (completely natural) obsession with minstrels has spawned a photoshop war. Please, if you have a minstrel contribution to make, send it to me and I'll post it. What we did so far: Year of the Minstrel and alley minstrel. Probably best not to clickey if you're someone with any cultural sensitivity (or good taste) at all.

In conclusion, this week I think I'm going to adopt/adbuct a street kitten so I have something to kick that will keep coming back to me because it is starving. (I was kidding about the last bit. It will keep coming back to me because I have replaced its feet with ball bearings and attached a big magnet to my belt. HA!)

xx

PS. Happy Birthday Joeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!!*MWAH* *MWAAAH* *MWAAAAAAAAAH*