a new orifice

Note: above is not the new office, it's the cat lamp and the cat.

So weeeeee back in Bangkok. Lots of things happening here and from all reports, my cousin is still happily married six whole weeks after my mum wore NO UNDERPANTS AT ALL for the entire wedding ceremony and reception.

Our British Airways flight made it clear that British travel standards haven't changed much since the First Fleet. They charged us four hundred dollars excess baggage then flagged me as a terrorist because somehow I was checked in as having no luggage. Four hundred dollars' worth of no luggage - WHAT?? The flight left an hour late because of bad weather, the toilet floor was covered with urine and smelled like the boys' toilet at school and they served us scurvy-flavoured bread rolls. Good times.

On another note, Suvarnabhumi airport is my new favourite thing. Thai national workers there are reassuringly unaffected by any level of professionalism. To wit: immigration check-in chick reading real estate brochure while checking passport; baggage handler fast asleep on seats; utterly nonsensical management of cabs out the front etc etc. Still, it's good to be home.

As 'he' announced on his myspace page, Ninja contracted ringworm while he was away at band camp. He's fine now - the black, crusty patches are regrowing hair and he seems to have regained the will to live. I did learn to never EVER shampoo him again and if I do to never ever EVER trust a man to responsibly wield the bath hose. I did specifically request that the water pressure be kept low and the stream to point at the cat's head only - the temptation to aim the water at high speed at both me and the cat proved too much for the man in question and the situation wound up at its natural conclusion: man laughing manically; woman screaming hysterically; cat scrambling, mewling, scratching, panicking frantically. End of scene.


Ninja post-hose: dark mood

Obviously we have moved, after a series of covert weekend removals, to a new office. It's in an old crumbly townhouse Rog is renting on soi 23. It had previously been a hair salon and a cafe and had been vacant for awhile, so was not expensive. Had two floors painted despite various Thai work-ethic-related delays. They started out enthusiastic enough, but interest petered after a few nights and they just stopped showing up. One whole guy arrived on the last night but after scooting in and grabbing his guitar (how anyone paints without a guitar is what i want to know), he handed over the final bits of the job to two random motorcycle taxi dudes he enlisted from the street. Thais are insanely superstitious, so who the fuck knows.

Anyhoo, after bleaching the bottom bathroom and most of the new towels and cleansing the fridge of Golden Staph and feeling like I'd dipped my face and hands in lye, we have a shiny new fully equipped orifice. All up there are four floors, the top one even has a small outdoor terrace that no one is allowed on. There's also a critter getting about - see? Grubby paw prints free!



So that's it for now. More on stuff later.